Review: What Lies Within

I got my first exposure to Karen Ball at the 2005 ACFW conference. It was my first writing conference, and she was the keynoter. She did an amazing job of blending humor, heart-wrenching honesty, and spiritual depth in her talks.

What Lies Within is the first of her books that I have read all the way through. I picked up Shattered Justice a year or so ago when it first came out, and hate to admit that I just couldn't get in to it. I'm not even sure why, other than it started with the main character becoming a widower and his struggles balancing job and kids. Maybe with two young kids I just couldn't stomach the topic.

What Lies Within I enjoyed from page one. I really shouldn't be reading new books right now. I am under a tight deadline -- for that matter I shouldn't be writing reviews, but the book was that good.

Kyla Justice is a woman who has wrapped herself in shield of fear and anger. On the outside she's a successful businesswoman who could be engaged to a successful man who seems to love her. And she wants to fall into that relationship because it's safe. She doesn't feel anything.

Then she becomes involved in a building project that could cost her everything, but has deep meaning for the community in which the project is located. The local gang doesn't want them there, a land developed will do anything to stop them, and on every side events seem to conspire against finishing the building by deadline.

She takes the project on and has to learn to let go. Isn't that a lesson many of us have to learn. We jump into projects that we know we can handle. We are capable. But we need to let God direct us and let others help us. The scene where Kyla is confronted with the mirror image of who she is plays out very powerfully.

And the romance is filled with twists and angst. The romance wraps up almost too neatly in the final scene, but I think this is the final book in a trilogy, so from that vantage point it works.

I had a couple problems with the timeline on the book...and the prologue isn't really a prologue. Once I understood that it helped, but didn't cure the other timeline challenges. But the book is well written and packed with conflict.

Will Smith on Marriage

I've spent a couple days sequestered in a Chicago hotel working on multiple deadlines while Eric attends a conference. I've joked he has a conference and I have a computer. I actually have to get back to work, because I want to spend a couple more hours writing 2-3K more words before I leave. Oh and there's the final review of Deadly Exposure to finish...

But this morning I had Good Morning America on for a moment while I got ready. Just happened to see the end of an interview with Will Smith. I actually came back to it.

They were talking about his marriage, and he had a great quote. Basically, he said that people invest 60 hours a week in to what's important to them, and then expect 18-19 minutes on the weekend to keep the most important relationship of their lives going. Instead we need to invest the same energy and effort into our relationships so that they can thrive.

So what do you do to keep your relationships -- especially your marriage -- not only surviving but thriving?

Shootings: What next?

I’ve spent much of the last week shaking my head and asking God what’s going on? First, there was the shooting at Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska, last Wednesday. A highly troubled teen decided it was okay to take a gun into a Von Maur and open fire, killing 8 and himself.

Then Sunday morning I saw that a Youth With a Mission center outside of Denver, Colorado, had been attacked. At that time, the headlines said that four had been shot. Now we know that two were killed.

Then Sunday late afternoon, the headlines started flowing with details of a shooting at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. As I write this, nobody is saying the YWAM and New Life shootings are connected, though there’s a sense that people desperately want them to be. Somehow it makes the tragedies easier to bear if one person or a small group was responsible for those two events rather than two separate individuals getting similar, horrific ideas in the same short period of time.

Westroads reopened on Saturday, and as far as I could tell on Monday morning, Von Maur remains closed. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shopped in Westroads. When I lived in Lincoln and had family living in Omaha, it wasn’t unusual at all to run up the Interstate to Omaha to shop there.

Omaha is the heartland. Colorado Springs is an amazing city, one of the few that Eric and I talk about moving to with big grins on our faces. It has so much to offer, and yet remains a small city.
These shootings demonstrate once again, that senseless violence can occur anywhere.

We’re at a university development conference in Chicago with colleges from around the Midwest. Sunday some were talking about whether these shootings would lower thresholds and make the unacceptable acceptable in people’s minds. Is the day coming when we’ll enter shopping malls through metal detectors? I don’t know.

But as I thought about it I remembered that church shooting in Fort Wayne back in September 1999. That shooting was shocking as seven victims died during the youth service shooting. A pipe bomb was also used, though it had little effect, just as smoke machines seem to have been planted at New Life.

So as my heart breaks for these families, and as I ask God why He allows these attacks on His children, I also pray that somehow He will reveal His glory and His goodness in the midst of senseless tragedy.

He is the only one who can turn the horrible deeds of this world into something beautiful.

Stepping back in time

Thursday I had the opportunity to speak to the Home Economics Guild in Indianapolis for their Christmas program. It was a blast! The event was held at the beautiful Meridian Hills Country Club in North Indianapolis. That place knows how to decorate for Christmas. It was amazing!! If I didn't already have my Christmas decorations up, I would have been inspired.

Roseanna Grayson invited me months ago after learning about Canteen Dreams via my husband -- he's an amazing marketer for me. :-)

I was delighted to have my mother-in-law accompany me. She has been an amazing support to me as I write. It was wonderful to get to thank her for all she does in a public way.

I focused on the and the early days of World War Two. I guess my passion came out as I started talking about what happened and contrasted it to Thursday's events in Omaha. While I love speaking -- I got an A in college speech, even after only preparing one speech and ad-libbing the rest --, I honestly had the most fun as some of the attendees began to share their World War Two memories.

It was wonderful to hear one woman share about the shoe rationing, another delighted to know where her family dog had likely been sent for War Dog training, another tell about delivering tomatoes with her father to a plant here in Indiana that had prisoners of wars working. That was one of her earliest memories since she accompanied him as a 3 and 4 year old.

To hear their delight in sharing those stories was wonderful. And best yet, I have a few leads on Indiana World War Two stories now. Anyone know any from Ohio?

Win a Copy of Canteen Dreams: New Review and Interview with Me

Gina Conroy has a review up on her blog. Gina bleeds all over my pages when she has time to read them. Though not as much as she used to. Some of those early pages she read look like they participated in the Battle of Gettysburg!

Here's her review though there's more in her post:

REVIEW:

I’m not much of a romance reader, but I can honestly say I enjoyed this story. The characters came alive as well as the time period. It was interesting to see how World War II affected the lives of those far from the fighting. I can tell the book was well researched which adds to the believability of the story. And it was fun to see the romance grow between Audrey and Willard despite the many obstacles.

Sometimes when I read books the “writing mistakes” jump off the page at me. In Canteen Dreams I didn’t get distracted by the writing because it was really good. The story moves and is a touching tale based loosely on Cara’s grandparents’ story. I highly recommend this to romance historical lovers and anyone else wanting a sweet, quick read!

Cara is deep into writing book three in this series, and I’ll definitely be reading those as well!

INTERVIEW
And a fresh interview and book giveaway is up at Favorite PASTimes. So head on over and enter.

Shadow of Treason

A Shadow of Treason is Tricia Goyer's latest fiction release. I had the pleasure of watching this book develop chapter by chapter a year ago. Book Two in the Chronicles of the Spanish Civil War, Tricia sheds light on a forgotten war that served as the prelude to World War Two.

And the book is jam-packed with rich characters. My one complaint about this series, and it's a small one, is that so many characters populate the book that it is impossible to get to know each of them as well as I'd like. And they're all interesting with twists and quirks that keep them from becoming cookie-cutters.

Book Synopsis

Sophie discovers that nothing is as she first imagined. When Walt, the reporter who helped her over the border, shows up again after Guernica is bombed, Sophie is given an impossible mission. She must leave behind the man she's fallen in love with and return to the person who betrayed her. Another layer of the war in Spain is revealed as Sophie is drawn into the international espionage schemes that could turn the tide of the war and help protect the soldiers from the International Brigade ... she must find a way to get a critical piece of information to Walt in time.

This book builds on the first, with twists that place the characters, particularly Sophie, in positions that they would never chose. And those challenges push the characters to grow and change in the midst of chaos.

This is an enjoyable book that will sweep you back in time.

Tragedies Befall Us All

I often like to think there are pockets of the world that are still safe. Where the world hasn't encroached. Where people can walk without fear of random violence.

Yesterday one of those pockets was shocked when a 19 year old went into Westroads Mall in Omaha, opened fire, killed eight people, and then committed suicide. Where's Westroads you ask? LA? NYC? Another big city we all know but don't live in. No, Omaha, Nebraska. The middle of the Heartland. Mecca if you get me to talking about roots, values, and home.

Westroads Mall is one of the big ones in the largest city in Nebraska. It would be packed with Christmas shoppers this time of year. Yet, for a reason we may never understand, a 19 year old decided today was a day to act out on his pain, hurt, and rage, and inflict it on random individuals at the Mall.

In a state where the raging debate has centered on who the Huskers football head coach would be in 2008 (Welcome back, Bo Pelini), the focus has suddenly shifted to the truly important. To matters of life and death.

Some days it's hard to see God's hand. Yet I know it's there. Even in the midst of tragedies.

Another take on book signings

Check out this For Better or For Worse cartoon for an author's perspective on book signings!

And I saw this cartoon on Tina Forkner's blog. Isn't it a hoot!

Review: Bluegrass Peril

Bluegrass Peril, Virginia Smith’s latest offering from Love Inspired Suspense, is an enjoyable step into the Kentucky bluegrass region. We drove through this area in August, so I could picture the rolling hills and white fences surrounding huge horse farms. I wanted to stop and explore them all then, and through this book I can pretend I got to do that for a few hours.

Becky Dennison is a single mom who’s trying to keep it all together for her young sons. One morning she arrives at work and finds her boss murdered on the floor of the barn at Out to Pasture, a retirement farm for successful stallions. Scott Lewis is placed in the management position while police try to figure out who killed the previous manager. Becky and Scott dive into the investigation and all kinds of trouble as they try to find some answers.

The murder investigation is filled with twists and red herrings. The conclusion contained a twist I couldn’t have anticipated but one that fit with the times we live in. I don’t want to say more and spoil the suspense for you J

And the romance is filled with challenges. Becky has to choose between her ex-husband and the future. Scott has to decide to risk his heart that’s already been broken by one woman who returned to her ex. Even though you know they have to get together in the end, the author kept the tension ratcheted up until the last several chapters.

If you’re looking for a suspense to fill a few hours, this one will be a very satisfying read.

Booksigning Photos

Saturday was my very first book-signing. Yeah! I was so tickled as so many friends made the effort to come by. Here I am signing a book for my friend Heather Corbin. She was one of the gals in a Bible study two years ago that I dared to risk this dream, too. That group of gals prayed for me and supported me. I am still amazed that nobody laughed at this dream of getting a book published. God is so good. Colleen is sitting next to me, and Denise Hunter is next to her.

God is so good. Colleen and I kept marveling about how quickly this dream has come to fruition. And I have no doubt in my mind, that she has played a pivotal role in that. I was so THRILLED that she made the effort to be part of this signing. She has literally served as the midwife to this dream, and what I love is that she's not done yet. We've got a wonderful friendship in addition to the mentoring she pours into me. What can I say....God is so good!


One thing that Eric and I have commented on is how non-competitive this field is. That has been one of the biggest surprises and blessings. Denise has been a huge part of making it feel non-competitive. She has such a delightful smile and sweet spirit. And if you love romance and haven't purchased Surrender Bay yet, do it! It's wonderful. As Colleen likes to say, it's on par with Francine Rivers Redeeming Love.

This last picture is with Vicky G. She's the book manager at Carpenter's Son and one of my biggest cheerleaders. She believes in me even on the days I begin to doubt. And she loves to hear the progress reports on the doors God is opening. We have talked about this book-signing for months. And did I mention we sold out! 100 books bought and signed. Woohoo!

It was also a delight to meet Jamie Carie for the first time. What a gorgeous, classy lady. And my good friend Brandt Dodson also made the long drive up from Evansville even with questionable weather in the forecast. It was so fun to be able to point people to his great PI stories while he's standing there.

Finally, here's a photo of the recommendation tags I've blogged about in the past. Vicky says they are as good as hand-selling a book.

First Review: Canteen Dreams

Sunday morning I found the very first review of Canteen Dreams. If you've seen others, please let me know! Michelle Sutton, author of this review, reads tons of books and writes honest reviews. That's why I am so pleased that she like Canteen Dreams. I know if she hadn't, she would have let me know!


Canteen Dreams (2007)

In the aftermath of Pearl Harbor, Audrey Stone wants to help in the war effort. But what's a young schoolteacher from Nebraska to do? When her community starts a canteen at the train station, Audrey finds her place. Willard Johnson worries about his brother who joined the navy to get off the ranch and see the world. Will his budding relationship with Audrey survive in the pressures of war? Can two such determined people find their place in the war and with each other?

My review:

This historical romance rocked! I love it when true events are used for novels because I feel like I learn something at the same time. This story revealed several things to me that I hadn't thought about before. Like how some men weren't drafted because of their importance to the United States food supply and industries that helped the war effort. It was refreshing to also read about the town of North Platte's support of the "boys" going to war no matter where they came from. Since Vietnam, our troops have been given such mixed messages about their value. It would be awesome if they were supported like that again.

I also enjoyed the romance and the romantic tension. Audrey had such conflicted feelings, as did Willard, and it was enjoyable to go through the ups and downs with them. The way Audrey dealt with her issues was to work all the time so she didn't have to confront them. Isn't that typical of many of us? The way Willard and Audrey resolved their lack of faith came out naturally as well, especially when it came to giving up their own plans and embracing God's plan for them. Very encouraging to read. The setting and voice were also perfectly done. I was there! Folks, this is a great debut novel. I can't wait to read the rest of them.

Canteen Dreams was published by Heartsong Presents and released in October 2007. ---
http://www.michellesutton.net


And check back tomorrow for pictures from my very first book-signing. Teaser: the store sold out of books! All 79! They started with 100 two weeks ago. God is so good!

December Fiction Releases

Here is the December 2007 line-up of new Christian fiction releases in time to add to your Christmas gift list. Enjoy!

1. Bluegrass Peril by Virginia Smith from Steeple Hill Love Inspired Suspense. When Becky Dennison's boss at a retirement farm for thoroughbred stallions is murdered, she becomes entrenched in a high-stakes game of danger, money, and that famous southern pride.

2. Buried Sins by Marta Perry, from Steeple Hill Love Inspired Suspense. Caroline Hampton flees to her family's inn in peaceful Pennsylvania Amish country after her husband's death, but even there, someone with deadly intent wants her to believe he's still alive.

3. Gavin Goodfellow: The Lure of Burnt Swamp Book One of the Burnt Swamp Trilogy by Candy Abbott from Fruitbearer Publishing. Dyslexic tween encounters Christ while battling witchcraft in Burnt Swamp where fires have been burning for ten years.

4. Heart of the Family 2nd in the Fostered by Love series by Margaret Daley from Steeple Hill Love Inspired. A past secret threatens Jacob and Hannah's newfound love.

5. Kansas Weddings a Heartsong 3-book compilation by Kim Vogel Sawyer from Barbour Publishing. Three Kansas women have difficult decisions to make and burdens to bear.

6. Missouri Memories by Deborah Raney, DiAnn Mills, Joyce Livingston, and Kelly Eileen Hake from Barbour Books. The beautiful House on Cranberry Hill in Hannibal, Missouri, holds love for four generations of couples.

7. Seasons of Love Book 3 Massachusetts Weddings by Elizabeth Goddard from Heartsong Presents. Riley O’Hare must revive her grandfather’s cranberry farm, but her brother’s untimely death thrusts her into his partner’s path and into the midst of a perilous cyber crime.

8. The Love Song by Anita Higman and Janice A. Thompson from Barbour Publishing (Heartsong Presents). With God's help, Clair O'Neal lets go of her painful past and accepts all the laughter and music and love her heart can hold.

Happy reading~

Booksigning Tomorrow!

I am so excited! My first booksigning is tomorrow, Saturday, December 1st. If you're in the area, please join Colleen Coble, Brandt Dodson, Jamie Carie, Denise Hunter and me for the signing. It will be from 1-3 p.m. at Carpenter's Son, 1165 S. Creasy Lane, Lafayette, IN. I'll be sure to post photos, etc. next week.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Kim Sawyer Interview

I am delighted to have my fried Kim Sawyer join us for an interview. She's a talented writer, who quickly pulls readers into her settings.

Kim, you live in Kansas and your books are set there. How do you find your ideas for the books?
To be honest, more often than not, the ideas find me. Inspiration strikes, and the story unfolds...it seems, sometimes...on its own. I just to go along for the ride. :o) And yes, most of my stories are set in Kansas. The reason for this is twofold: 1) I'm familiar with Kansas, having lived here all but one year of my life; and 2) the stories fit in Kansas--it's believable.

I just finished reading Bygones and Beginnings. These books are as richly layered as Waiting for Summer's Return and Where Willows Grow, but are modern. What was the greatest challenge in writing Bygones & Beginnings?
The biggest challenge in these stories involved the Mennonite aspects. There are so many different Mennonite sects, and each fellowship has its own set of guidelines by which they live. They are not a "cookie cutter" type of people! So researching and deciding which particular sect would work best for my little community was the hardest part. I finally just had to decide it wouldn't be an "actual" group but a blending of several.

The other challenge regarding the Mennonite aspects was to avoid perpetrating stereotypes and myths. I wanted to be honest in how they were presented (they live their faith, quite literally, on their shirtsleeves, yet they are human and with failings, just like anyone else) rather than casting a "this is right and this is wrong" shadow.

I find that I usually learn something from my characters. What did you learn from Marie and Beth? How about Henry, Andrew and Sean?
Oh, my, you would not believe how much God used these stories to minister to me! When I was writing Bygones, my family faced a situation that could have divided and devastated us. But because I was writing about a family divided and devastated due to their unwillingness to forgive, it helped me make the choice to forgive rather than hold onto a grudge. So Marie and her father taught me the power of forgiveness. Beth reminded me how important it is to seek GOD's will rather than pursuing my own. Henry's faithfulness, even when he received nothing in return, is a wonderful example of Jesus' love. Sean had his priorities in the right order...eventually :o)...and dear Andrew had to discover selfishness benefits no one. So yes, these characters each provided wonderful opportunities for my own growth.

And those characters are exactly why I found the stories so compelling. They were so real in their struggles and responses. God has opened amazing doors for you in writing...what fresh dream has He laid on your heart? It's interesting you should ask this, because I've been wrestling with a desire and trying to figure out the logistics of making it happen. So many wonderful authors reached out to me and bolstered me along in my writing journey, and I want to be able to do the same for others. As you may know, I was a teacher in my "former life," and I miss the interaction of teaching. I'd like to host events with small groups of new authors, focusing on one aspect of writing--maybe characterization,or weaving in the spiritual thread. I've been praying about it, and I've reached the conclusion that it will probably be a little while before it comes to pass (remember Sean's priorities--family before work? *smile*), but I plan to keep praying, preparing myself, and waiting for God to make the opportunity available.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and who would you take with you?
Oh, this is easy! I would pack up my family and go to Germany and Russia! My mother's family (Mennonites) immigrated from Germany to Russia before coming to the United States; Daddy's family was Russian Lutherans. So I would love to take my family to these two countries to examine our roots. That would be a dream come true for me.

Any advice for aspiring writers?
Heed the Siren's call. If God has laid this desire in your heart, then write. Even when it's hard and you feel as if you're getting no where, continue to write. I firmly believe there is a purpose in every task God sets before us, and there are no wasted steps in a God-directed journey. So listen to His voice, open your heart, and write.

Thanks so much for joining us, Kim!
Thank YOU!

Win Canteen Dreams

Check out Michelle Sutton's Blog for another chance to win. She'll post a review soon, but here are her initial thoughts:

• If you enjoy historical fiction you will love this book. It's interesting, has great tension between the hero and heroine, and occurs in a fabulous setting. I'm enjoying this story immensely and if I hadn't been working on my own book today I would've finished it. I hope to post a review in the next few days!

Review: Finding Father Christmas

I don't often read novellas, because most don't have enough going on to keep me interested. However, Robin Jones Gunn crafts a wonderful tale with Finding Father Christmas.

Miranda Carson travels to England one Christmas to find the father she's never known. As this tale begins, she enters the Tea Cosy on Christmas Eve. She's already questioning her decision to leap the Ocean in pursuit of the unknown. All she has as a clue is an old photo.
The story unwraps in the span of two days, with delightful twists and turns. The characters are warm and friendly, and I felt like I was being welcomed into their lives along with Miranda. And Miranda's strong need to answer the questions about her father resonated. And then she considers a decision which goes against her quest in an effort to protect her new friends.

This story is a delightful read, that unravels easily. I thoroughly enjoyed it and think you will, too, if you're looking for a short escape from the Christmas hustle and bustle.

Reviews: Bygones & Beginnings by Kim Sawyer

Can I admit that Bygones sat on my shelf for six months. I wanted to read it, but I was afraid I would be unable to get into a story about the collision of old and new with the Mennonite thread. Yet from the moment I picked up this book till I finished it the next day, I could not get away from this story. The characters and plot were amazingly gripping.

Marie Quinn left Sommerfield, Kansas, twenty years ago and will never return. She was disowned by her family when she married a non-Mennonite and has made the best life possible for her daughter. Then her world is turned upside down when an old friend enters the cafe where she works to tell her that her great-aunt died. Later he informs Marie and her daughter Beth that the great-aunt left everything to Beth on one condition -- that she live in Sommerfield for three months. Beth talks Marie into going with her, and Marie steps into a pit of pain.

The story weaves through the broken relationships from Marie's past, the dreams of her daughter's future, and the healing of old hurts. The story is on some levels simple, but also gut-wrenching as Marie searches for the acceptance and love that has been denied to her for twenty years. Just when she begins to make inroads, events begin to happen which cast suspicion on her and Beth.

Even after she returns to her faith, it looks like she won’t get the desire of her heart. I could relate to the uncertainty and fear that plagued Marie. And also to some of the poor choices she makes at the end of the book in an effort to protect her daughter.

This book is real with characters that I could relate to. From Henry who has loved Marie for years, to her father whose stubbornness may undo him, to Beth who can’t wait to get out of town. And the clash of Mennonite expectations with the 21st Century made me long for that simplicity – though I do like my electricity, thank you very much.

This is a book that will touch you long after you’ve stopped reading it, whether you’re the prodigal longing to come home or on the other side waiting to see if the prodigal is truly changed.


Beginnings is book two in Kim Sawyer's Sommerfield Trilogy. Having breezed through Bygones, I fully expected to love Beginnings. Kim did not disappoint.

This book focuses on Beth Quinn and her deep desire to find a place to belong. She wants to be near her mother who has embraced her old life with the Mennonites. Yet, Beth, while a young believer, has no desire to join the Order. As long as she remains in Sommerfield, she feels like an outsider.

This story tells the poignant journey Beth makes as she tries to find herself and establish her business. The stress of starting a successful stained glass shop could push her over the edge. Then there are the two men who are suddenly vying for her attention. Or are they vying for control of the business. Because of what happened in her relationship in the first book, she finds it hard to trust again.

Kim does a magnificent job painting the setting and characters that I care deeply about. When I pick up one of her books I fully expect to be swept into the story and characters' lives. She has never disappointed me.

And the spiritual journeys of the characters are richly worded and woven into the very fabric of the story. I never feel like she's preaching at me, yet the seeds she plants stay with me long after I've closed the book.

Beth's journey is not an easy one, and she makes mistakes along the way. I could so relate to that. Yet at the same time, her epiphany moment is a natural outgrowth of the progression of the book.

This book will join my keeper shelf.

Preparing for Christmas

We made it home late last night from our Thanksgiving trek. We added a weekend away to the trip, and it's really good to be home.

Today we'll put up Christmas trees. It was do it today or not at all...and that just didn't seem right. So as we begin to prepare for Christmas, what are some of your favorite Christmas traditions?

Thankful Hearts: Day Four

I've spent this week blogging and thinking about the different ways that I have been blessed. So many of them are truly good ways...and yesterday I shared some of the hard things. So here, in no particular order, is the rest of the list until I can think of more LOL...

• A husband who loves imperfect me...and no one knows better just how unperfect I can be!
• A husband who supports my writing dream 120%.
• A first book that has released...I still get chills when I look at that book sitting in my hutch...
• The fact that I am under deadline...right now!
• The fact that I worked under two incredibly tight deadlines in August, beat both, and am delighted with both books.
• Open doors in the writing field...I don't know which ones will come to an actual contract, but open doors are a blessing.
• Editors who push me to improve a book, and teach me how to be a better writer in the process.
• An agent who challenges my proposals and pushes me to make them deeper.
• A mentor who teaches me so much and helps open doors...I hope this last one turns out...It'll be so awesome!
• A God who loves me with abandon.
• A God who shelters me under His wings and leads the way into the future.
• Two children who are absolute delights and who can't wait to be big siblings again.
• The fact that they'll be big siblings again in May.
• A God who quiets my fears and sets before me the decision to choose life or death.
• The fact that life has conquered the power of death if I will just accept it.
• Critique partners who have become much more than sounding boards.
• Opportunities to give back to other writers through the ACFW board and Indiana chapter.
• Opportunities to serve the women in my church
• The chance to teach business law at Purdue.
• A future that stretches in front of me...and knowing that God holds it no matter what happens.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving! I'll be back on Wednesday.

Thankful Hearts -- Day Three

A quick aside...I have to tell you that if you're looking for great odds to win my book, go to Sabrina's blog. Right now, if you enter, you'll be the only one who doesn't already have the book. So hie thee to her blog, ASAP! You just might get to give thanks for winning a great book!

--------------

Thankful Through the Storms

If you've followed my blog much this year, you know it's been a very hard year for me.

In January, after a couple years of trying to get pregnant again, I miscarried. I have been blessed that I've never experienced much tragedy in my life. All of my grandparents lived into my adulthood, and one set is still here to bless my children. It also was pretty much unheard of for anyone in my family to miscarry. Never even entered the realm of the possible.

Until January.

It has been a year of walking through shadows and valleys I never imagined. A year of wrestling with God. A year of demanding to know the unanswerable why. A year of fighting to trust Him even when I couldn't see Him.

A year of reaching out as I grieved and learned. A year of yelling to be understood. A year of fighting through pain as I watched friend after friend have their precious babies.

A year of begging God to put the pieces of my fractured heart back together. A year of kisses from heaven as friends and acquaintances prayed for me and let me know I wasn't alone.

A year of learning just how many women live with the pain and grief of a miscarriage. A year of being determined not to let this experience be in vain. A year of begging God to redeem the pain. To turn it into good as only He can.

It's been a year of fighting through until I am seated at His feet. Sometimes with tears pouring down my cheeks. Sometimes with no words at all. Sometimes with my arms thrust wide, head thrown toward heaven . Sometimes bowed to the ground.

A year of anticipating grief. Each month of what should have been my pregnancy. The week I probably would have given birth. The due date. The events I should have taken a baby, too.

A year of being surprised by grief. Holding a friend's baby that was born around my due date. Being so happy for them, and so incredibly sad for me. Of gritting my teeth and groaning that it wasn't about me. Of holding that baby as a three month old and being socked in the gut all over again by fresh, unadulterated grief.

You see, I can know I have treasure in heaven. But right now, I still long for that treasure to be in my arms.

But through it all, I can see God's hand. And I am thankful. Thankful for the nurses who cried along with me during pre-op and recovery. Thankful for neighbors who held me as I cried. Thankful for a pastor's wife who has walked this road and could point me to the other side -- even before I was ready to hear that there was another side.

Thankful for the real way I have had to walk my faith. Thankful that God is good. All the time. Thankful that God will never leave me or forsake me. Thankful that God collects every tear that I cry. Thankful that Jesus stands at the right hand of the Father and intercedes for me. Thankful that the Holy Spirit knows exactly how to pray when my words are too bound up inside.

Thankful that I can now relate on a gut-level way with an entire group of women. Thankful that God uses everything for His good. Thankful that what the enemy intended for evil will instead be turned into good.

And I am thankful that someday I will see this little Gabriel/Gabriella -- even as I long to hold him/her in my arms now.