Today I'm delighted to have Jordyn Redwood join me with a guest post on how to write show v. tell. As you'll see below, this is something I believe she did with excellence in her new novel Poison. It's also why I asked her if she'd like to write a post to share. Without further ado, here's Jordyn:
Because the great Cara Putman asked me to do this—am I doing
this—but let me first say I am hardly an expert on show versus tell—every
writing teacher’s admonition for every storyteller out there. In fact, I was
quite shocked when Cara said she was taking notes on some passages in Poison
because she thought they were good examples of showing. I am still hoping she
will tell me exactly which ones so I can admirer my own amazing work because I
was that surprised.
Showing versus telling can definitely be learned (after all,
I did it and was never an English major) so don’t go over the writer’s cliff
Thelma and Louise style if some of these points don’t hit home. I am still
learning some of the more advanced points myself and that’s a mark of a true
writer—always desiring to learn more.
The concept of showing could also be described as Deep POV.
I think these concepts are honestly interchangeable. So if you hear one—think
of the other.
The first (and really good) piece of advice I got on showing
was to write my scenes as if I was filming a movie. How would I describe what
was on the screen to a reader without stating the obvious?
For instance: He was
angry. This is telling. It doesn’t leave any room for the reader to use
their imagination. Now, more showing. Her
husband swore at her and spittle hit her face seemingly to mark a target for
his fist to punch her in the jaw. See the difference? I haven’t said the
word “angry” at all, but does this man seem fired up?
While editing, you’re likely telling if you name the
feeling. He was mad, sad, fearful…etc.
A great tool I’ve used to help me show more visceral
reactions is The
Emotion Thesaurus. There is also a website by the same author called The Bookshelf Muse. It gives
specific bodily actions for tons of different emotions. Use this as a starting
point to generate ideas and then improve them for your own manuscript.
Another tip to help show instead of tell is to phrase things
as questions. Telling: She wondered if
her attacker was walking behind her. Showing: The echo of footsteps matched her high heels as they clipped down the
pavement of the dark alley. Was it him? Was it the man who nearly killed her
with a quick slash of a knife across her throat two years ago? The one she
presumed was now sending her all those threatening letters—just like before.
Now he was free.
To show more—add a visceral reaction from the woman from the
emotion she is likely feeling which in this instance would be fear.
The
echo of footsteps matched the quickened pace of her heart as she broke out into
a run down the dark alley. Instinctively, her hand covered the thick scar as a
shield from both the memory and the act. Was it him? Was it the man who nearly
killed her with a quick slash of a knife across her throat two years ago? The
one she presumed was now sending her all those threatening letters—just like
before. Now he was free.
I know—future editor. How can she run with her hand set on
her throat? Just to illustrate a point. Edit at will.
Also, don’t feel like you have to do this in the first
draft. The first draft is all about getting the words on the page. Showing can
be added in subsequent editing phases that you do before the manuscript goes to
an agent or publisher, but don’t get too hung up on trying to do a lot in the
first draft until it becomes more natural for you.
This is just the beginning. There are many more techniques
that can be used so keep working at it and you’ll have the reader sitting
inside your character in no time.
Jordyn Redwood is a nurse by day, novelist by night. She has specialized in critical care and emergency nursing for nearly two decades. As a self professed medical nerd, she reads medical textbooks for fun. This led to the creation of Redwood's Medical Edge-- a blog devoted to helping authors write medically accurate fiction. Jordyn loves to weave medical mystery into her story lines and see how her characters navigate through the chaos she creates.
No comments:
Post a Comment