Five Ideas for Making Time for Romance after Kids

One question I often get asked is how can we as busy women find time for romance. Oy, I wish I had this one down. Sometimes life feels like that old country song: Hey Cinderella, how’s the slipper fitting now?

We all want to believe that once we get married, the fairy tale will go on forever. But if we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes life just gets in the way. Add in children, and it can be next to impossible to find time to be a twosome let alone have evenings filled with romance, roses, and passion.

While I will be the first to admit I do not have this down, here are a few ideas, and I’d love to see your suggestions!

1) Make it a priority. Like anything else, if it’s important, we will find ways to squeeze it in to our jam-packed schedules. One thing I’ve learned is that I can’t always wait for my husband to initiate a date night. So sometimes I have to swallow my longing to be the one being pursued and just pick a night and make it happen. If it’s important, then that’s what I have to do.


2) I HATE paying for a babysitter if I’m not going to get time alone with my hubby, so I guard those rare nights with a sitter jealously. Just the other night my husband asked if I wanted to join him for a work event. I said no, because I have learned the hard way that our expectations are very different at those type of events. Right now I would resent the expense without the benefit of time with him. Other times I gladly go. But it’s up to me to know what my needs are at that moment.

3) Get creative on sitters. At times we have exchanged babysitting with another couple so that we could each get a free night out once a month. It’s a bit harder to do with four kids, but you can still get creative and find a way to remove babysitting from the equation.

4) Take advantage of Red Box or other low cost dates. We have a TV show we like to watch together – it’s one hour a week I know we can snuggle together. We’ve trained for mini-marathons together. Now I know that may not be the least bit appealing to you, but it gives us one weekend a year where we get an overnight at a nice hotel, sans kids, and also gives us something we’re working toward together. We even run it together.

5) Cash in credit card points for free hotel nights. Ask for gift cards instead of presents. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Your turn: How do you find time to squeeze in some time with your honey once you have kids or a crazy career?