Friday, September 25, 2009

Handling Grief Part Four

Here's my last thought on this... at least for now :-)

Please acknowledge the pain. Even though you may not understand what the mother is going through, please acknowledge that she's had a loss and that her pain is real.

Little hurts more than having the loss seemingly ignored.

So if you don't know what to say, just say you're sorry. Really that's all it takes. Send a card. Even an e-card. Anything that acknowledges that what they've experienced is real. Because you're silence -- even when because of discomfort about knowing what to do or say -- can be interrupted as not caring. And often that is the farthest thing from your mind.

Things friends and family have done that are meaningful to me:
  • cards
  • emails
  • flowers
  • emergency deliveries of ice cream sandwiches (my comfort food)
  • hugs, hugs, and more hugs
  • calls to let me know they were praying and thinking of me
  • gifts in recognition of the baby
  • We planted two rose bushes last month: one for each baby.
  • etc.
The woman in your life will probably have other things that are meaningful to her. But please, say something and send a card that acknowledges her loss.


Leanne said...

those were beautiful reminders, Cara. It is the little things that can get us through those times...and not forgetting...

Edna said...

All of these help but it has to be with God's help to get us through, My Mama has been gone for 29 years and I still dream about her sometimes and think of her, and wish she could have seen my grandbabies. I was the youngest of 10, and my Dad died when I was 8, so I was really her baby and also my oldest sister's.


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