Monday, October 02, 2006

Ever just want an answer?

Can you see my hand raised across cyber-space? I'm practically jumping up and down in my chair as I type. All I want is an answer. Do this or do that. Write this way or write that way. Instead, I get the feedback "you're really good at this. Go for it." Or even worse, "What do YOU want?"

I don't know!

If I knew, my life would be blissfully simple. (Please don't interrupt my moment of self-delusion.)

It would be simple to say "yes" or "no." Decisions would be a snap. "This fits my vision for my life, writing, service." Fill in the blank.

Instead, I just want to make people happy. No. Really I want to please God, and sometimes it's easier to gauge that by making people happy. Ugh. I hate to admit that even as the words escape onto the page. I'm supposed to have outgrown this. Moved beyond this need to please.

So while I search for answers, I think the best thing I can do is step back and wait on God. Anyone have any advice for this Type A on how to do that?!?!

2 comments:

Trish Ryan said...

Gosh, I feel your pain. Let me ask you this, though...is it really that you have no idea what you're supposed to do with your life (as in, I'll buy Rick Warren's book; maybe that will help...) or rather that you know what you're supposed to do, but it seems impossible?

Not that it makes waiting any easier, but once I realized that I DID know what I was born to do I just couldn't figure out how to get there, I was able to target my whining much more effectively :)

Hang in there - life can be surprising!

Crystal said...

LOL, Cara. Not to make little of your question, because I think all of us want what you want. One thing about it, if you wanted instant gratification, you'd be a newspaper writer, not a novelist. ha So, you could choose newspaper writing...but nah, I don't think you should (your personal advisor.) I have some ideas about what it is for you, but you're right, sometimes you must wait on God. And He has that God-time watch. Sheesh.

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