Monday, October 02, 2006

Ever just want an answer?

Can you see my hand raised across cyber-space? I'm practically jumping up and down in my chair as I type. All I want is an answer. Do this or do that. Write this way or write that way. Instead, I get the feedback "you're really good at this. Go for it." Or even worse, "What do YOU want?"

I don't know!

If I knew, my life would be blissfully simple. (Please don't interrupt my moment of self-delusion.)

It would be simple to say "yes" or "no." Decisions would be a snap. "This fits my vision for my life, writing, service." Fill in the blank.

Instead, I just want to make people happy. No. Really I want to please God, and sometimes it's easier to gauge that by making people happy. Ugh. I hate to admit that even as the words escape onto the page. I'm supposed to have outgrown this. Moved beyond this need to please.

So while I search for answers, I think the best thing I can do is step back and wait on God. Anyone have any advice for this Type A on how to do that?!?!


Trish Ryan said...

Gosh, I feel your pain. Let me ask you this, it really that you have no idea what you're supposed to do with your life (as in, I'll buy Rick Warren's book; maybe that will help...) or rather that you know what you're supposed to do, but it seems impossible?

Not that it makes waiting any easier, but once I realized that I DID know what I was born to do I just couldn't figure out how to get there, I was able to target my whining much more effectively :)

Hang in there - life can be surprising!

Crystal said...

LOL, Cara. Not to make little of your question, because I think all of us want what you want. One thing about it, if you wanted instant gratification, you'd be a newspaper writer, not a novelist. ha So, you could choose newspaper writing...but nah, I don't think you should (your personal advisor.) I have some ideas about what it is for you, but you're right, sometimes you must wait on God. And He has that God-time watch. Sheesh.


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